plz talk dirty to me
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
