At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
