Plan B is the new Plan A
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
