Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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