Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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