i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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