So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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