I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
