guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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