i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
