Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
how does that bad decision feel?
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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