I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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