i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
