u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
