What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
