And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize