You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
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