i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
