: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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