Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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