there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
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