well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
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