I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize