you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
