I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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