just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I've blown a few things in my day
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
