Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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