I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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