bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
