I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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