Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
