she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
