Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
