the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
