The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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