So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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