saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize