I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
