My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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