Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize