I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
