WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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