Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
