New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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