Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize