i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
