Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
