i think my mom watched the whole time
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
