Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
