So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
