he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
