My room smells like vodka and shame
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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