Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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