remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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