Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
