I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Randomize
