We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
