I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
the day after is always just damage control
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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