absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Randomize
