I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
