I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
