I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Randomize
